Woman’s Hour hosted an interesting discussion about smacking children this week, to listen please visit: www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00s8hyy

The debate about smacking children on Womans Hour was represented very well by the two guests and their comments showed how polarised the thinking is on this subject.

I founded The Parent Practice ten years ago and am familiar with the different views of many parents on the subject of smacking children. Overwhelmingly it seems that when parents smack their children they do so, not in a controlled way to discipline them, but because the parent is overwhelmed by an emotion, perhaps fear as in the example given in the programme when a child runs into the street, or out of anger or frustration. The child knows the parent has lost it and we are in danger of losing our children’s respect if we discipline in this way.

There is no doubt at all that discipline is necessary but the point of any method of discipline is to teach and smacking is the least effective of all the tools at our disposal if we want to teach. Our children are not so open to learning if they are shocked and hurting. We are in danger of teaching them something we don’t intend if we use smacking, that is that when you are an adult you can use your power to hurt, that you can resolve conflict or get your way by hurting. That is not what parents intend when they smack and I would never make a parent wrong for smacking but I think parents need to be supported in the difficult job of raising children by giving them tools other than smacking.

Melissa Hood