Setting Up for Back to School Success: Part 2 Supporting Neurodivergent Children
Neurodivergent children can have very different experiences of school. Some may love it or least aspects of it. Others may find all of it extremely difficult. But what can be very common amongst many, particularly Autistic children, is that transitioning between school years or starting a new school can be incredibly challenging.
There is so much change, a lack of familiarity, a new routine and it can all feel deeply, deeply unsettling. So as it is incredibly helpful to prepare all children for upcoming changes, it can be even more important for neurodivergent children.
I have written a blog on Setting up for Back to School Success and everything set out there can be supportive for neurodivergent children so I would suggest reading that first here. (and some of the points referred to below are explained in more detail in that blog). However, if your child is neurodivergent or you think they might be, there are a few additional things that it is worth thinking about to help set your child up for success in the school year ahead.
For children that are neurodivergent or it seems they might be, there is of course lots more that is needed to set them up for success generally at school. So this blog only focusses on some of the key items for a transition between years or starting a new school and if they are diagnosed, information on supporting strategies from diagnosing and other professionals working with your child should of course take precedence over anything here. However, hopefully this is helpful if you are starting on the journey or as a checklist to see if there is anything else in addition to what you are already doing that might help your child.
Familiarity and predictability
Try to make things as clear and certain as possible (albeit acknowledging that it is impossible to take away all uncertainty). Always ask school for more information if you feel it would support your child, e.g. photos of staff, timetables or an extra meeting with their teacher at the start of term.
A meeting with just you and your child’s teacher may be very helpful and appropriate to go through certain details. However, also think about having a meeting with your child, their teacher and you. This can be particularly helpful if your child finds it harder to self-advocate. It can help your child feel safe and secure enough to share more directly with their teacher if they see you all working together and see you taking the first step of showing it is safe to share with their teacher. It can effectively build a bridge between home and school and you, your child and the teacher.
Visual supports
These can be even more helpful for many neurodivergent children who are often visual learners and may find task management more difficult due to challenges with their executive function. Visuals can be pictures/drawings when they are younger and/or lists when they are older.
A workbook approach (as referred to in my other blog) can be very helpful – to provide concrete visual information on key elements of school that you can go through a number of times before a transition. Alternatively you can create a personalised “social story” for your child (get in touch with us if you need any guidance on this) which can set out key details on what they can expect at school, as well as things like emotions they might experience and what they can do in certain situations if they arise. Once you are familiar with the type of format, you can create your own, adjusted for your child’s age/stage of school, by writing/drawing one out manually or creating documents in Word or Canva.
Choice and control
If your child is very anxious as a result of various aspects of being neurodivergent and/or as a result of an upcoming change or transition, they may well feel “out of control”. Therefore actively giving them choice and control where possible can be helpful – perhaps around some of the details of their morning or evening routine, the clothes that feel comfortable for them, the bag/equipment they take to school or what sensory supports/fidget toys they take to school. It can help a child feel that more is certain and solid for them and that they have some autonomy.
Sensory needs
Neurodivergent children may be particularly sensitive to sensory input of any kind – through sight, sound, smell, taste or touch. This can mean many sensory inputs may be intolerable, or even feel painful, for some children. Some of the common issues with schools that neurodivergent children can struggle with and what you might like to speak to your child’s school about include:
Visually busy spaces – rooms with lots of people and movement. Busy displays on walls. Your child may be able to take breaks or do some work in a smaller space.
Noisy environments like the dinner hall, sports halls and the playground. Ear defenders are an option or having alternative options for having lunch/playtime, e.g. eat at the end of lunch when the hall is quieter or have an inside play option for some/all lunch times.
Smells – in rooms with lots of people or adults wearing perfume, or during lunchtime. Difficult to adjust smells entirely but your child may be able to take breaks outside for a breather or have lunch separately.
Taste – school lunches may be difficult if there are unfamiliar smells, tastes and textures. Packed lunches may be more successful or making sure you know the weekly menu so you can talk to your child about what they like and can choose from the options.
Touch – parts of school uniform might be incredibly uncomfortable or intolerable, e.g. texture of shirts or trousers, socks with seams, wearing ties, labels in clothes. Obviously labels can be cut out or some shops now sell label free clothes. With other items, see if there is a swop you can do, e.g. replace normal school shirt which might feel hard/rough/stiff with a soft cotton polo shirt, or not wear a tie.
They may also have challenges with other sensory areas which Occupational Therapists specialising in sensory integration are best placed to advise in detail. However, one aspect that is worth mentioning here is that many neurodivergent children have poor interoception. In practical terms for school, this can mean it is useful for their teacher to know that they might not realise they need the toilet until the last minute and so rules around only going to the toilet at break/lunchtime may not be possible for them.
Alternatively, it might be that they don’t realise as quickly when they are hungry, thirsty, hot or cold. So they might need a teacher to keep an eye on them that they are wearing enough/not wearing too much depending on the weather and might need reminders to drink enough.
Talking about emotions
Many neurodivergent children can find identifying, understanding, expressing and managing their emotions particularly difficult. Emotion Coaching can be incredibly supportive in developing skills here (although some children may need other specific support as well). However, some children may find it hard to talk about their emotions for a number of reasons.
Giving your child other more indirect ways to express emotions can be helpful to think about – drawings to represent feelings, writing notes in a “Worry box” when they are able to write, reading books about emotions to open up discussions in a more depersonalised way, or talking but doing so side by side in the car/when walking as it can be less confronting.
Separation anxiety
Many neurodivergent children may experience this as any neurotypical child. However two things:
It may be heightened given a potentially increased need to be with familiar and trusted adults. Children may need longer to build bonds with staff or may need to really “click” with a staff member. School should be able to help in facilitating this.
In a neurodivergent child, sometimes what appears to be separation anxiety (i.e. anxiety about separating from a parent/carer) isn’t actually separation anxiety. As in, the real issue isn’t being away from their parent/carer per se – it is that a child doesn’t feel “safe” in the school environment. Not physically unsafe but emotionally or otherwise unsafe, unsettled or distressed – sometimes because:
o they are struggling more than is apparent on the surface with their school work
o they don’t yet have adults at school they trust enough to share with or be themselves with
o they have difficulty understanding certain communication styles
o they find various sensory aspects of the environment too overwhelming.
The answer here is not to force or bribe a child to go in, or use many of the approaches that can often be used with separation anxiety (e.g. distraction, saying a child will be fine once the parent has left). That is just putting a sticky plaster over the issue and can risk making the issue much worse.
The answer is to get to the root of the issue – what exactly is it that is really making them feel unsafe, unsettled or distressed? Then see what adjustments can be made to address that.
Document for school
If your child is just starting at a new school or even if they have been there a while, it can be extremely helpful to provide a new teacher with a one pager on key things they should know about your child.
If a child has been at a school for a while, they will likely have a SEN Support Plan or Individual Learning Plan and handovers will take place between class teachers. Sometimes these can be very effective but sometimes, even with the best intentions, they don’t provide all the detail that is really helpful for a teacher to know and that will allow them to best support your child (often due to workload, class sizes and the number of children teachers are trying to support).
A teacher will usually get to know your child once they are in their class but neurodivergent children often need people to be aware of them as individuals, the nuances of their needs and how they work best from the outset. This can help avoid issues arising while a teacher is getting to know them and what makes them tick.
When providing a document like this, you can give a high level outline of:
Who your child is as a person – their characteristics, likes/dislikes, any special interests.
Their needs and how they present in practice - give examples of exactly what to look out for and signs that they are perhaps not coping as well as they might seem on the surface. Let them know the sort of things that are likely to cause your child distress or dysregulate them - even if it isn’t obvious on the face of it and they might seem like they are coping well.
What helps your child most – is it 1:1 time with a trusted adult, time out of a noisy room, doing drawing/certain exercises/physical activity or listening to music.
There is obviously more that can be done than can be covered in a blog post and as mentioned, far more that needs to be done to set neurodivergent children up for success at school generally (and I could talk about both at length, for hours!). But I hope the above is a good starting point and can be supportive for you and your child.
Good luck with all school starts and returns in the coming weeks – I hope they go as smoothly as possible.
Mary xx
Do get in touch if you would like any support if your child is neurodivergent or you think they might be. We can provide bespoke support around strategies to support at home, what support you can ask for at school and how to get it (whether school provide it directly or additional funding is needed via an EHCP) as well as point you in the direction of excellent professionals if assessment, diagnosis or therapeautic support might be appropriate and helfpul. Just email us at admin@theparentpractice.com.